If you are suffering from a crypto hangover, my condolences.

I'm not going to pile on and make it worse. Losing money to fraud or bad investments in a moment of FOMO mob madness is as old as the hills and as common as dirt. It's when our fear of not having enough makes us vulnerable to cons, Ponzi schemes, and rampant speculation.

That's when we let our money have unsafe sex with dubious partners.

When befogged by lust, syphilis is not top of mind. In the middle of a financial feeding frenzy, neither is fraud.

If your BFF called you up to vent about their current squeeze “M” and said:

M is unreliable.

He’s never around when I need him.

M plays hard to get.

I have to chase and chase and still get ghosted.

M is complicated.

I don’t know what makes him happy.

M is seductive.

He’s flirtatious with everyone.

I’m not myself around M.

I’ve done crazy things because of him.

Yowza.

What could you possibly say?

“Congratulations! You found a keeper! So happy you found THE ONE at last!”

NOT.

I have a finely tuned bullshit detector, thanks to my years on Wall Street.

As a professional investor, listening to company management was like being a Kremlinologist decoding Soviet Cold War propaganda. I paid as much attention to what wasn’t being said, picked apart answers like a biologist sifting through owl droppings, asked weasel-proof questions, and read the energy behind the words.

In my experience, straight shooters made the best management teams.

In the space of 2 days I got three flyers inviting me to learn more about retirement financial strategies. These were advertised as workshops and educational opportunities.

My sudden popularity made me deeply suspicious.

A few days ago I opened a personal finance newsletter and read this:

💵 Today is a great day to rollover that old 401k you’ve been ignoring for 7 months, for FREEEEEEEEEEE

WTF?

Rolling your 401K into an IRA (Individual Retirement Account) is always free. The recipient of your IRA is thrilled to get their grubby little paws er…. hands on your money. They’re delighted to have you transfer funds from your company 401K plan into a newly opened or pre-existing IRA.

Killing a business is a lot harder than offing an inconvenient human, it seems.

The official death certificate for Daruma, my institutional money management firm took ~18 months after we shut our doors and gave back the last client dollar to arrive. Pandemic delays, bureaucratic snafus, and turf wars between Delaware and New York made for a slow and excruciating demise.

I’m a great loop opener and a terrible loop closer, so this limbo was agony.