Tiny Windfalls, Curses, and Weird Money Beliefs

Dear Friends,

I park daily under a stand of loblolly pines, which is why I know that we’re in the pine needle drop stage of Fall. Did you know that evergreens are not in fact evergreen? Their needles turn brown and shed. A lot. They just pretend it doesn’t happen.

Pines are the social influencers of the plant world, always appearing perky and upbeat, faking being impervious to the winter in our lives.

The other day I spotted a gleam of silver among the fallen pine needles and bent over to pick up a quarter. Instead of the usual eagle, I found Wilma Mankiller staring up at me.

I’d recognized her name but realized I knew little about her, so I did what I do when I get curious – I nerded out.

The TLDR?

Mankiller was an elected Chief of the Cherokee Nation, an activist and a consensus builder, and someone who dedicated her life to creating hope forged from action for her people. Check her out.

That 25 cents brought me a dollop of inspiration and knowledge served with a side of wisdom:

“Remember that I am just a woman who is living a very abundant life,” Mankiller said. “Every step I take forward is on a path paved by strong Indian women before me.”

May her words be a blessing and a reminder to live an abundant life.

This week’s issue is an exploration of our money superstitions and what they reveal about us.

Love,

Mariko

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Unless it’s lying in vomit or dog poop, I will always pick up loose change.

The only other exception to that “if, then” rule (if I see a coin, I pick it up) was during rush hour at Grand Central Terminal in NYC. As I headed towards the corner exit at 42nd street and Vanderbilt, I spotted a suspiciously large number of coins strewn on the ground. A bunch of people with clipboards loitered nearby, trying to look nonchalant and failing.

I smelled a trap. 

Could it be a prank and the coins were glued to the floor? Imagine my mortification if I tried to pick them up and failed, and people jeered at me.

Could it be a science experiment to see what New Yorkers do when some idiot stops abruptly and bends over during pedestrian rush hour? I might get trampled to death and be memorialized with a lurid New York Post headline (“Greedy Ivy Leaguer Dies While Grabbing Last Nickel”).

In that split second, I chose survival over my money rule.

In other words, not picking up coins the universe tosses in my path is a BIG DEAL.

I used to think my picking up loose coins was just me being polite and grateful for the universe’s generosity. Look at me celebrating abundance!

I now know it was BS.

I mean, I don’t really believe I’m going to be cursed or die if I don’t pick a coin up. It’s more that having seen a penny, to ignore it would be dissing the universe, Italian style.

The belief lurking under my habit is that you have to respect money, give it a home, and care for it as though it were a wet kitten on your doorstep.

But who am I fooling? 

That’s not gratitude, it’s fear. 

If I don’t treat a financial windfall “right”, no matter how small, there will be consequences, however ill-defined — all camouflaged in abundance talk.

Think about it. 

If I don’t play by the “rules”, I will…what?…piss off the universe?

Why?

Because I’m flipping it the bird by not picking up the coin? 

Or because I’m an ungrateful wretch who thinks she’s too good to pick up a quarter? 

And then what happens?

The universe will sulk and plot its revenge like a scorned lover?

To be clear, my money superstition is not a compulsion. I can walk by a coin, but I would be lying if I said it wouldn’t bother me.

So what’s really going on?

I am AFRAID. 

I have to cop to having scarcity-based fear, because I can’t call it anything else. Like being a “tiny bit pregnant” is impossible — you’re either pregnant or not — fear is fear, whether it is a fleeting twinge of discomfort or paralyzes you into years of inaction.  

It gets worse. 

At its core, I believe if I don’t gratefully accept the bonanza the universe offers me, I will be punished. WTF?! 🤯

(It could also be paradoxical — I could feel both gratitude and fear — because we humans [this human flatters herself into thinking herself especially so] are complicated and paradoxical.) 

And worse. 

Logically, even if unconsciously, if violating the “rule” triggers anger and retaliation, then I must obey and comply. 

I believe money must be obeyed.

That was a stunner. 

What does THAT mean? That I am putting myself in a subordinate, not collaborative position to money. That I am outsourcing my sovereignty to a small amount of copper and nickel and what it symbolizes. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m still processing this epiphany and what it means about how I steward my assets.

See how complicated and deeply rooted money beliefs are?

Good grief. All I did was pick up Wilma Mankiller, and I am now having an existential crisis. 🙄 She will do that to you. 🤣

Wilma Mankiller (Oklahoma Publishing Company Photography Collection)

I shared my 25-cent windfall on social media and asked you to tell me your found-coin superstitions. 

OMG. So many more than expected!

It’s your turn. Let’s look at your beliefs and see what BS lies within.

You said you’d pick up a coin only if it were “heads”. If “tails”, it would be a hard pass because “tails” brings bad luck.

You believe money can’t be trusted. 

It’s as if your daughter Abundance (quarter) is dating Misfortune (tails), and since she can’t tell he’s a jerk, you’ll proactively kick him out of the house. You believe the universe lacks judgment, and you know better. 

Or… 

You think that the universe is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde — sometimes it loves you and sometimes it wants to kill you. Depending on who shows up, (heads or tails), you change your behavior. You believe the universe is fickle and untrustworthy, and that money is dangerous.

This "heads" vs. "tails" rule is more nuanced than my all-found-money-must-be-obeyed rule. It’s also fear-based, but you have the power to ignore the universe’s attempts to trick you into bad luck.

But think about the implications. 

If a quarter can harm you if you’re not careful, can you EVER trust money? It’s easy to screen a quarter for malintent, but what about a $100 bill?

Is it logical to scrutinize some form of money for luck malware but assume all other forms of money are hackerproof? 

If my superstition requires obedience to create safety, your superstition requires hypervigilance instead.

Now the real fun begins — here’s a doozy of a money habit —

A friend had a roommate who would pick up loose change and THROW IT AWAY. He didn’t need it, but he didn’t want anybody else to have it, either.

I mean, I can’t even.

Was it a way to feel like a big shot by being a dick? According to my money rules, the universe is going to bitch slap him hard someday for this. 

He weaponizes abundance into scarcity.

It takes a special kind of twisted mind, doesn’t it? Not to get too judgy about it. 🤣

“Just because I don’t need it, you can’t have it” is such an alien concept to me. 

Please send me your hot take on this, STAT. I am flummoxed.

Lastly, there are 3 reasons you ignore windfalls altogether. 

Generous Souls

Some of you generous souls are willing to tell the universe she’s incompetent and made a mistake — surely that quarter was not meant for you.

You will either say a prayer or blessing and ask that the coin be found by someone in need (this is so beautiful!) or just leave it for someone less fortunate to find. 😇

You are braver than I am and have a peer-to-peer relationship with the universe. You’re OK giving her feedback, and that’s healthy. You figure she’ll get it right the next time if she tries harder. 🤣

But wait a sec.

Aren’t you also saying that you don’t deserve this?

That someone else is more deserving of this bounty than you? The coin’s been put in your path, after all. Maybe you’re meant to steward it and choose the right beneficiary. After all, if the universe made a mistake giving it to you, why are you trusting that the next person who finds the quarter isn’t some hedge fund billionaire?

If my gratitude camouflaged my fear, could your generosity be masking trouble receiving?

Bad Luck Booby Traps

A Chinese friend tells me that she never picks up coins because they are bad luck booby traps. People can transfer their bad luck to the coins and then to you. They win the lottery, and you leave a trail of misfortune everywhere you go.

In this belief, the universe has no dog in the hunt.

It’s strictly a human-to-human dispute. At its heart, this belief states that you can’t trust money from unknown sources. Money may just be an innocent mule for bad luck, but no matter. If you don’t know whose it was, you must avoid it.

This belief is “stranger danger” applied to small change.

It forces you to only interact with money you already have a relationship with. It’s a reminder that one’s relationships are what create safety. Because outsiders’ financial motives are always suspect, “windfall” money becomes bound up in “us versus them” tribalism.

By this logic, no windfall can be innocent.

This belief insists that abundance comes with a hidden agenda and that you don’t know what you are contractually binding yourself to. Any largesse that doesn’t come with responsibility, strings attached, or a social contract is by definition untrustworthy.

Cash Is Dead

Cash is dead to some of you.
My trainer Malik told me he walks by small change. When I asked him why, he said he doesn’t use cash anymore, so he doesn’t need it. (I didn’t ask if he’d feel the same way about a $100 bill on the pavement, but I should have. 🤣)

I get it.

Digital natives a.k.a. “young folks” can pay with a card, a phone, or a watch. What do they need coins for? Malik doesn’t even have a change jar at home.

He truly does not use coins at all, ever.

Which made me think about what we lose when things change. Not that I’m a Luddite. It’s just that finding Wilma Mankiller led me to learn something new and be inspired in the process. Exploring my beliefs around my coin foraging habits led me to some uncomfortable self-realizations.

But as the French say, “Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose.” (The more things change, the more they remain the same.)

Because humans have human brains. Like the loblolly pines, we’ll always hide our deepest held beliefs about money and how the world works, and our place in it, whether by digital or analog means.

P.S.

I'll be teaching a class on Financial Intimacy for Small-Business Owners this October. You’ll make better and more profitable business decisions when you approach your financials with curiosity and listen the stories they’re telling you. Sign up here for early bird notification.