Kinky Money

If your BFF called you up to vent about their current squeeze “M” and said:

M is unreliable.

He’s never around when I need him.

M plays hard to get.

I have to chase and chase and still get ghosted.

M is complicated.

I don’t know what makes him happy.

M is seductive.

He’s flirtatious with everyone.

I’m not myself around M.

I’ve done crazy things because of him.

Yowza.

What could you possibly say?

“Congratulations! You found a keeper! So happy you found THE ONE at last!”

NOT.

You’d be clamping both hands to your mouth to stop yourself from screaming “DUMP THAT LOSER!”

“M” sounds like a total freaking nightmare.

You just know that in the near future, you’ll be snatching your BFF’s phone out of her hands to stop her drunk texting “M” while ugly crying.

That relationship is doomed, and she’s the only one who can’t see it.

It’s obvious. The dude’s a jerk, and the relationship is toxic.

Yet when you use similar language to describe money, you think you have a healthy, normal relationship with it.

Nope.

Your money relationship needs work.

The good news is that unlike with “M,” you can have a happy, healthy, loving, mutually supportive relationship with money.

If money is an erratic presence in your life, if it’s high-maintenance, requires a lot of effort to get, if there’s always drama, broken trust, and never enough attention or affection, I want to reassure you it doesn’t have to be that way.

Negative thoughts about money don’t have to be permanent. Just because you grew up hearing money horror stories, relived dysfunctional family financial relationships, and were socialized to internalize harmful money “rules” doesn’t mean you have to put up with a toxic relationship.

Your relationship with money is a mirror of your relationship with yourself.

When you think money is complicated, you act confused.

When you believe money is hard to get, you think you’re helpless.

When you see money corrupting, you make it mean you are weak.

In short, you are starving, disempowered, and easily manipulated.

But is that really true?

I REFUSE to believe that you are a victim.

Money is just energy packaged in a socially agreed construct. It’s completely inert. There is no “good” money or “bad” money, just money gotten by illegal means, immoral means, dumb luck, or honest toil.

So here’s how to change how you think about money:

Think of money as if it were your lover.

List all the things you dislike, despise, or fear.

List all the things you adore, admire, or appreciate.

How would it feel if you focused on the positives?

What would it mean about you if you had an intimate, safe, healthily interdependent relationship with money?

What would you have to do differently? Think differently?

Let me know what you come up with.

I’m cooking up something fun and easy to tackle our unhelpful money thoughts. Stay tuned.