Have No Shame About Your Money Procrastination. Try This Instead.

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If you’re stuck about something in your business, ping me. 

I have witchy powers in that department, you’ll see.

Bam! Between the orientation session and the first class in the YWCA Business Accelerator Course I’m teaching, a student resolved a lingering personnel issue.

Some part of you already knows what to do. It just needs to get the other part of you that’s resisting on board. I am good at brokering a peace.

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I drive an hour and a half round trip to get art framed.

My framer is not the cheapest nor the fastest. But she has a good eye, I trust her judgment, and she’s patient, as invested as I am in making sure the art is displayed to its best advantage. She takes pride in her work, not trying to nickel and dime me but problem-solving the most cost-effective way to get the desired effect.

She gives a shit, and her workmanship shows it.

So the last time I saw her (to pick up the gem pictured below from my friend Amanda Gold), I was horrified to learn that she was sitting on a tidy pile of cash because she didn’t know what to do. “I do!” I said, rattling off 500 options in a burst of enthusiasm.

I did stop short of bullying, however.

I don’t always, especially when I get carried away in a desire to fix, solve problems, or fall prey to another garden-variety bout of “know-it-all-itis.” I often forget that unsolicited advice is a form of criticism. I am not proud of this trait.

Nevertheless, as far as I know, my framer’s money is still sitting in cash. 😭 

Procrastination is a bitch. It can prevent us from getting what we most fervently desire. It’s like a Twilight Zone episode of freeze tag – just when we’re within reach of safety, we’re tagged by our shadow and become unable to move.

One theory is that fear is what causes us to procrastinate.

And that would not only be incorrect but profoundly shaming, according to psychologist David Bedrick. Bedrick has spent over two decades exploring the topic of shame, and I find his take on it compelling. He’s written books and offers courses, all of which I recommend. They can be life-changing. But I digress.

David Bedrick

Bedrick’s take on procrastination is different.

He sees procrastination as a conflict between parts of yourself. One part wants to take the money action, and another wants to prevent it. It’s like an isometric exercise of the soul.

But there’s no need for shame, for shame implies judgment has been passed.

And as another wise friend in my universe, Simone Seol, says, “Where there is judgment, there can be no curiosity.”

Be curious about your procrastination.

Assume both sides only want the best for you. Maybe the resistant side isn’t afraid to do the thing but in its heart-of-hearts, does not want the thing.

Maybe it doesn’t like the implication of who you become when you invest that money.

Maybe it’s trying to protect you from the emotional roller coaster investing can create if you don’t do it in a way that’s calming to your nervous system.

Or, to paraphrase David, it could be because your soul wants to live a totally different life than the one who thinks you should accomplish the task.

What should you do about that unresolved inner conflict?

Become its BFF.

When you understand the less conscious source of your inner conflict, you’ll be better positioned to address it.

Maybe you won’t do it at all, with the difference being you feel no guilt or shame.

Maybe you’ll find out what you must address before both sides feel comfortable with your decision.

Maybe you’ll discover that you’re raring to go after all!

Don’t shame yourself for procrastinating on your money stuff.

Love on the part of you dragging its feet and find out why. See what it would take for it to be on board with your agenda, or change your agenda.

There is no right answer.

Then break the desired action into the next smallest step you need to take and bon voyage! You are conflict-free and have started your financial journey.

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Three quick and easy resources to be a better steward of your money:

The Three Bodhisattvas of Finance

Safety, and Clarity are needed to take Aligned Action when it comes to managing your money.

Jizo, Manjusri, and Daruma embody those qualities, and will inspire you to feel more grounded and confident in your decision-making.

Each week I show you how to cultivate each step.

JIZO: Safety and Acceptance

The opposite of “triggers” are “glimmers,” moments of awe or transcendence that nourish the soul, usually fueled by art or nature. 

Here’s a great source of glimmers, courtesy of National Geographic’s Instagram account.

Prepare to be awed.

MANJUSRI: Clarity and Discernment

Sometimes, when we’re confused and indecisive, it’s not because we suddenly don’t know what we want. It’s because we are burning out.

Here’s a way to find out if that’s what’s going on with you.

DARUMA: Action and Resilience

If you’re a Facebook user, here’s a small action you can take that will result in money.

You want proof?

Here’s a picture of a check I just received for another class-action lawsuit.

It may not move the needle financially, but I’m grateful to have had the chance to practice receiving (reparations for nefarious corporate behavior, what’s due to me, you fill in the blank).

Being able to receive is a quality some of us feral hyper-independent types need to cultivate.