How To Feel Good When All You Hear Are Crickets

Yesterday's Atomic Essay shared a personal divorce story, and argued that writing yourself letters beats journaling. I risked pissing off die-hard journalers and being way too vulnerable. 

I was nervous, but shipped anyway, and waited for feedback. I heard nothing but crickets ALL DAY. This silence gave me a vulnerability hangover and all sorts of shitty feelings, until I remembered Zenmaster Hakuin's cricket.

Hakuin is a towering figure in Japanese art and buddhism, who influenced millions of people over centuries. His enlightenment was triggered by hearing a cricket chirp. 

In short, no cricket, no enlightenment, and no millions of changed lives. 

Hakuin's cricket had no idea that just by being itself -- chirping to find a mate -- it would change lives. The cricket did humanity a great service, unselfconsciously and unknowingly. He did his thing and that was enough. 

Remembering this story helped me get out of my funk. What if the greatest value of my ENTIRE LIFE, was merely to be the cricket to a Hakuin? Wouldn't that be enough? That just by showing up with a desire to be helpful and serve, I may make a difference in one person's life, and maybe even alter history? 

There are many possible reasons for yesterday's vast silence, and not one of them invalidates me as a human being. I feel a lot better knowing that I may have been someone's Hakuin cricket yesterday, just by showing up.

Image credit: Hakuin Ekaku (self-portrait), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons