How To Cure Negative Self-Talk

Propaganda (negative self-talk) is the 101 Airborne division of The Fifth Column (the saboteur within that pits you against yourself). It's skilled, rapidly deployed and lethal. 

I would think of a past blunder and instantly whisper "I hate myself". Then I would scold: "you shouldn't hate yourself". I actually doubled down on self-loathing! 

The vitriol relative to the ass-making memory was always out of whack. The offenses were small: A socially awkward moment. A tactless comment. Inadvertent cruelty. 

A crappy pattern was laid down in my brain: trigger (cringe memory) and response (shame and anger). I needed to break this habit of nasty self-talk. 

Here's how I did it: 

1) Paid attention and caught every time I had the thought or said the words. This stopped the automatic response.

2) Noted the trigger. Held the memory and let myself really feel the uncomfortable feeling. That got my brain's attention!

3) Replaced the habitual response with a new one:"Congratulations! You are a human."

4) Remembered a time I felt heroic: doing the Heimlich maneuver on a kid choking on melted cheese or fishing a toddler who rode his trike into a pool.

5) Put my hand on my heart and directed my breath in and out through my heart. Said whatever sweet nothings I needed to say to myself until the cringe moment passed.

Keep doing this every time the self-loathing propaganda lands. Your brain will hook you up with a kinder and gentler BFF in no time.