How I Was Haunted By Math Anxiety And What I Did To Make Math Fun And Profitable

For years I had math anxiety. 

Maybe it was because we suddenly switched to the “new math” in 5th grade. We’d been doing long division the French way (where you subtract in your head), and then we’re playing with plastic disks like little kids. Welcome to number theory. The teacher was confused too. 

Or maybe it was bombing the SSAT two years later.

The Secondary School Admissions Test is a multiple-choice exam like the SAT. I skipped a line by mistake in the math section, so all my answers were off. I discovered this with five minutes to go, panicked and erased all my answers, then scrambled to fill in the correct bubbles. I scored in the 23rd percentile.

I concluded I was an idiot and had a lasting math hangover.

In high school, I didn’t struggle with algebraic concepts, but I worked quickly and messily. I didn’t line up numbers well and, in my haste, made dumb arithmetic mistakes. As a result, my grades were mediocre.

I continued to mistake sloppiness for stupidity.

Finally, after graduating from Princeton, I was sick of my bullshit. I decided to confront my fear of math. I signed up for an adult education pre-calculus class at Columbia. This time around, I saw my anxiety for what it was, the ghost of flawed logic and a bad test-taking experience. I had more curiosity and patience with myself, which made math FUN.

I aced the class.

Enjoying math meant I could embrace a career as a stock picker, portfolio manager, and entrepreneur.

Edvard Munch, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons