What Hollywood Teaches Us About Writing Memorable Sentences

“Houston, we have a problem.”

The Apollo 13 mission nearly ended in disaster when an oxygen tank exploded on board. It was touch and go as to whether the astronauts would make it home. These five words have been seared into our collective memory, the stuff of memes and communication shorthand.

Except that is not what was said.

The actual words? “Houston, we’ve had a problem here.” It was Tom Hanks the actor, not Jack Swigert the astronaut who uttered the words we all remember. The Apollo 13 mission itself is unforgettable, but credit goes to Hollywood for the words no one’s ever forgotten.

I am five pages into Houston, We Have a Narrative: Why Science Needs Story by Randy Olson, and I am hooked.

Olson is a marine biologist turned screenwriter/filmmaker who’s also on a mission. He teaches scientists how to include narrative when sharing their findings, to make the rest of us give a shit. The future of Earth may depend on his success.

What can we learn from Hollywood? Condense and Compel.

Hollywood condensed Swigert’s sentence into immortality. It took a short sentence and made it airtight. A short sentence is easy to remember. A punchy one is memorable. Caution: Do vary sentence length in your essay so you don’t sound like a staccato robot.

Hollywood made Swigert’s sentence more compelling by changing the verb tense. We humans worship at the Church of What’s Happening Now. We are wired to care way more about the present and what’s in our faces. If at all possible, make it urgent by using the present tense.

From now on, when you hear “Houston, we have a problem” you will remember that it’s not true. You have an opportunity to write attention-grabbing prose.

Photo credit: “Apollo 13 — Damaged Service Module” by Kevin M. Gill is licensed under CC BY 2.0